Making the decision to say goodbye to your pet is one of the hardest moments you will face as a pet owner. While there is no way to remove the sadness, there are ways to shape the experience so that it feels a little calmer, more intentional, and more like a gift of love rather than a moment of loss.
The purpose of this guide is to offer gentle suggestions and considerations you may not have thought of so that you feel as prepared as possible to create a loving, meaningful farewell. Please do not feel pressured to follow every suggestion. Choose those that feel right for you, your family, and your pet, and remember that it’s OK to change your mind at any point in the process.
Choosing the Right Location
One of the biggest benefits of in-home euthanasia is the fact that you can perform this final act of love in a place that is most comfortable for you and your pet. A carefully chosen location in your home can bring calm, reduce stress, and surround you both with familiarity and comfort. This choice is deeply personal; for some, it’s the sunny corner where their pet has always napped, for others, it’s the couch where countless evenings were spent together. The location should honor your pet’s habits while giving you the space you need to be fully present without distraction.
Things to consider:
- Your pet’s favorite spot – Choosing a space that they love can help them relax and feel more secure
- Your own comfort – Choose a location in your home where you can remain close without physical strain. Consider bringing cushions or pillows to help ensure you are comfortable.
- Peace and privacy – It’s important to think about privacy. If you are in a location that has a lot of exposure to your neighbors (i.e, a backyard), then it may be worth talking to them to help ensure they give you the space you need.
- If outdoors – Ensure you select a location that will allow your pet to be contained, and if that location is someplace other than your property, ensure you have permission from the land owner before proceeding. Also, consider the impact of the weather and have a backup plan in place in case the weather isn’t favorable.
Deciding Who Will Be Present
The people and animals who share this moment with you can greatly influence how the day feels. Their presence can bring warmth and comfort, or, if emotions run high, make the space feel heavier. This is why it’s important to think not only about who wants to be there, but also who will bring the kind of energy you need. It’s important to remember that there is no obligation to include everyone who asks, and you can always involve them in other meaningful ways before or after the appointment.
Things to consider:
- Emotional energy – Invite those who will bring a calming and supportive presence
- Family regrets – Some friends or family may regret not being there with you. Consider offering a separate moment to allow them the opportunity to say goodbye. Sometimes it can be helpful to throw a “celebration of life” party prior to the euthanasia, where you can invite all of those people who had a relationship with your pet and offer them that space to honor that special relationship that they had.
- Extended Family/Video Call – Sometimes, circumstances develop in such a way that not everyone who you want to be there will be able to be there. While it’s not the same as being there in person, sometimes having family members or friends on a video call during the procedure can still allow them to feel included despite the distance.
- Other pets – We often encourage other pets to be involved in the process, but it’s important to consider their impact on your experience. If having another pet near you during the procedure can offer additional comfort to you and your pet, then we would encourage that. If you feel as though it is too much of a distraction, then it is perfectly OK to allow them to come out and say their goodbye after your pet has passed. Animals do grieve, and like humans, the way in which each one of them expresses that grief can be different for each pet. Some pets may sniff and walk away, some may vocalize or search for their companion. It’s important to hold space for your other pet’s and to recognize that each pet will grieve in their own way.
Including Children in the Process
For many children, this may be their first encounter with death, and how you guide them can shape their understanding of loss for years to come. Children’s grief is unique. They may cry one moment, play the next, and then ask deep, unexpected questions. They may appear unaffected, only to express their sadness days or weeks later. Their capacity to understand what’s happening depends heavily on age, maturity, and prior experiences with loss.
How grief can vary by age:
- Toddlers and preschoolers – Children of this age can often see death as temporary and may have a hard time understanding the concept of death. They may repeatedly ask where the pet is. They may also mimic what they see in the adults around them.
- Elementary-age children – Children of this age can often understand that death is permanent, but may worry about the death of themselves or those closest to them. It is also not uncommon for them to blame themselves for the death of the pet.
- Preteens and teenage children – Children of this age usually have a full understanding of the permanence of death, and the ways in which they grieve is often as unique as they are. It’s not uncommon for them to turn inward or to their close circle of friends to help process what they are feeling. They may also want to be deeply involved in the process.
How to talk about it:
The biggest advice I have when communicating with your children regarding the death of your pet, and the grieving process, is to use clear, honest language: “The doctor will give [Pet’s Name] medicine that will stop their body from working because it’s too tired to keep going. They won’t feel pain, and they won’t wake up.” Try to avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep,” which can cause confusion or fear, especially in young children.
Oftentimes, offering children choices in the level of involvement can be beneficial for them. When euthanizing our own pet, we gave our then three-year-old the job to hand out tissues to anyone who was getting sad. Not only did this allow her to see that it was OK to feel those feelings of sadness, it also gave her a bit of a distraction and allowed her to feel as though she was helping. It doesn’t just have to be tissues, though. You can have your children share their favorite story, read a poem, or even place a blanket on your pet.
If possible, try to have a trusted adult nearby to help support your children if their emotions become overwhelming. Losing a pet is a highly emotional time, and it’s a lot to deal with the emotions that you are feeling, while helping your children navigate the emotions they are also feeling.
Setting the Atmosphere
The atmosphere you create in the room can deeply influence the emotional tone of the goodbye. This is not about making things perfect, but is more about intentionally shaping the sensory experience so it reflects the warmth and love of your relationship. Lighting, sound, and familiar scents can help both you and your pet feel anchored in the moment, even when emotions run high.
Ideas to create a comforting space:
- Lighting – Soft, warm lighting or natural daylight can help create a calm, gentle setting
- Sound – Gentle music or nature sounds can help ease tension. It’s also OK if you prefer a quieter setting.
- Scents – Try to minimize strong smells, or ones that you think may be distracting to your pet. However, familiar smells, such as a piece of your clothing, can sometimes be grounding for your pet.
- Treats – This is the time to spoil them with their favorite treats, or even treats that they may not have been able to eat before (i.e, chocolate).
- Personal touches – Surround them with their favorite blanket or toys.
Rituals That Provide Peace
Rituals, whether simple or elaborate, give the moment shape and significance. They can be spiritual, symbolic, or personal, helping you feel more connected to your pet and to those who share the moment with you. They’re also a way to focus on gratitude and love rather than just the loss.
Some common examples we see:
- Readings – Sharing a prayer, poem, or a letter expressing your love.
- Memories – Invite those present to speak about your pet’s unique quirks or treasured moments
- Symbolic Gestures – Wrap them in a cherished blanket, place flowers nearby or even light a candle
- Music – Playing a song that is tied to a special memory or moment can make it feel more special
Preparing Yourself
It is natural, in these final moments, to pour all of your energy into making sure your pet is safe, comfortable, and free from fear. You have likely been their caretaker through illness, injury, or age-related changes, and it may feel instinctive to put your own needs on hold. But these moments are not only theirs; they are yours too. The memory of this day will live with you long after, and how you feel in the space, in your body, and in your heart will shape that memory.
Preparing yourself physically means setting up the space so you can stay close without discomfort, so your knees are not aching from kneeling too long, your back is not straining, and you are not distracted by thirst or fatigue. Emotional preparation means giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes, whether that is tears, laughter, stillness, or even moments of numbness, and knowing that each is a valid expression of love and grief.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. In fact, it allows you to be more present for your pet, to meet their gaze, to stroke their fur without rushing, and to let the goodbye unfold at its own pace. These final moments are a shared experience, and you deserve to feel supported within them.
Before the appointment:
- Clothing – Wear comfortable clothing you won’t mind sitting or kneeling in
- Supplies – Keep tissues, water, and perhaps a warm drink nearby if you’d find that comforting
- Arrange the space – Arrange the space so that you can be physically close without discomfort
- Check In – Ask a trusted friend or relative to check in on you afterward to help ensure your emotional needs are being met
Memory Making (If Desired)
Keepsakes can be deeply comforting in the days and weeks that follow. They’re not for everyone, but for some, holding something tangible can make the absence feel a little less sharp.
Some keepsake possibilities:
- A paw print – Either ink, clay, or a PawPal
- Fur clipping – A lock of fur tied with a ribbon
- Heartbeat – A record or visualization of your pet’s heartbeat
- Photos/Videos – Photos and videos taken before, during, or after the appointment
- Bucket List – Writing down “Bucket List” items and doing those prior to the appointment can help bring a feeling of “completeness” to the life of your pet while also providing important memories that you can cherish long after they have passed
Planning for the Time After
When your pet has passed, there is often a shift that is hard to put into words. The air in the room can feel different, heavier or quieter, as if time itself has slowed down. The familiar sounds of breathing or small movements are gone, and what remains is stillness. That stillness can bring comfort, or it can feel disorienting, even surreal. You may not know what to do next, and that uncertainty can make the moment harder to navigate.
Having a gentle plan for these first few minutes can help you feel more anchored. This could mean deciding ahead of time whether you would like to spend some private time with your pet, inviting others to share in a final goodbye, or including other pets in the room so they can understand the change. Some people choose to hold their pet for a while, stroke their fur, or simply sit quietly beside them. Others may begin a small ritual, such as lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or placing a flower on their body.
There is no one right way to move through these moments. What matters most is that you give yourself permission to take the time you need. By thinking ahead about how you might like to spend this time, you create a small sense of direction and control in a moment that can otherwise feel overwhelming.
Things to consider:
- Time – If you would like to have private time with your pet.
- Other Pets – If you would like to have your other pets see and smell them to help with their own understanding of the loss
- Rituals – If there are any rituals you would like to perform after they have passed
- Grounding Activities – If you would like to plan a gentle activity later in the day that can help you feel more grounded. Some examples could include taking a walk, having a cup of coffee/tea, journaling, etc
Letting go of “Perfect”
No matter how much you plan, the day may not go exactly as you imagined, and that is perfectly OK. Emotions may rise unexpectedly, and you may make decisions in the moment that differ from your plan. What matters most is that your pet feels your love and presence and that you are taking steps to ensure that your needs, and those of your family, are also being taken care of.
There is nothing easy about losing a pet. You cannot control if your pet will pass, but you can make choices about how. While that will not take away the pain, it can offer a sense of peace in knowing you created the most loving and gentle goodbye possible.
Please know that we at Healing Touch are here to support you in whatever way that is, even if that is just to talk. It’s hard to lose a pet, and we don’t want anyone to feel as though they are going through this process alone.